Kjell,
Hi.
My RAH was living with us.
He attended the minimum meetings, etc, before I had to put him out.
He lives alone now, and if he decides to dig deeper into the program, yay for him.
There was something that happened when he was here, one night when he had been to s meeting.
We were just about to fall asleep.
He said
" I know you stood by me, waiting for me to help myself, and I know you have loved me. I feel so awful right now about how hard it must have been for you to be in love with and try to care for someone who used everything he could get his hands on to destroy himself. And I tried to destroy you because you loved me, and that didn't make sense to me.
I also think about how sometimes you probably were embarrassed that you loved me. I was acting so horrible, and I treated you bad. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't do that to you. I realize right now that I can't take any of that back. I can just try to stop draining and start feeding good stuff."
It was something that made me cry. It was, firstly, true, and it was specific to something that he recognized that I had actually gone through.
In the 4 months here, it was his most authentic communication to me.