May I gently suggest..
...that the fact it isn't blatantly obvious to you that this is not normal is indicative that the damage you've incurred from the disease has hurt your thinker?
If you haven't already sought recovery of your own through Alanon, counseling, or both, please consider doing so. I know that engaging with both saved my life.
Take care, take what you want, and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
P.s. Let me be clear that no matter how you look at it something is wrong here. If you are not willing to live the rest of your life this way, please consider making a change.