Originally Posted by
Shellcrusher 
Day 2 on this thing. I haven't told anyone other than you guys, my family and my therapist about this. What do I find when I got home last night. A responsible AW making dinner. That might sound good at first but now I'm all fired up about it. I know it's her typical post binge activity. She's being a good girl...I still slept in my cave last night. I think it pissed her off cause she was grumpy this morning. Normally I would react to her grumpiness but this morning, something in the back of my head said, who cares if she's grumpy. Get on with your day. It's a strange feeling. It's like I have access to the red phone or the bomb codes or something. I hope I don't get power crazy. Anyone ever have that feeling when they know their rights and they're feeling good about themselves again? It's just super power and is it right? Is it normal? Woah, just typing it is getting me all wound up.
I don't know about the super power feeling though I do know the feeling of the annoying perfect behavior post binge. And I know the feeling of it disappearing if one of 2 things happens: 1) I don't respond positively to it within a day or two or 2) I do respond positively to it and as soon as I do it's back to status quo.
It's infuriating.
As for the feeling of power, now that I am thinking it through, I actually do know what you mean. When I decide that I am not going to react in any way to my AH and I can tell he is getting bothered (and before I let myself get sucked back in) I feel very in control of myself and feel good. But I know that when I was living under the same roof with him I was unable to stay detached for very long and inevitably that feeling of control would swing to the other side and I'd reach my limit and fall apart inevitably. Living apart from him is making it sooooo much easier to maintain this distance this time and I feel more in control of me and my life than I have in a long time... Sounds like you are in that same kind of mode...
Hope things go well for you-- I can't remember-- have you told your W that you are filing?