Not normal for a loving, close and respectful relationship. And I agree with the person who said we lose track of what is "normal or acceptable" after a while. Living with an active A can do that, blur the lines. However, I do agree that we have our own standards of what we individually want in a relationship. If you don't feel it's something that is okay in your relationship with someone, then it's not, regardless of what your partner thinks.
My RXABF would stay out all night. No notice, no phone call, no nothing. I was niave enough to think he was too drunk to come home so he slept out. This was not acceptable to me and I voiced it many times. I know for a fact if I ever did that in return, he would say I abandoned our daughter. His excuse of why he could do it and I couldn't was because I didn't drink like he did. I would have no reason and it would be out of my character. Nice justification in his mind.
Here's what I found out. He wasn't just out all night drunk. He was out using drugs. Duh, I lived with this man for 3 years and never knew he had a coke habit which is why he would pick fights to leave, or just plain go out and not come home. My RA friend woke me up to that one day. His words were, "Him: He drives drunk other times, right? Me: Yes Him: Well do you really believe he suddenly got a conscience and decided to stay off the road because he drank too much? Me: Well, no I guess. Him: I am an addict. I am telling you I'd bet my last dollar that he is out doing drugs. Me: Really?????? Oh. But he said he'd never do drugs. I've asked him many times and he looks me right in the fact and says no, I'd never do that."
And I was already in Al-Anon for 1 1/2 years and knew he was an active alcoholic. DUH!!!!!! To this day I still feel stupid.
I'm not saying that is what is going on in your relationship at all. What I am saying is when our significant others choose to stay out all night, justify the behavior and claim it's okay when you know damn well it wouldn't be okay if you did the same thing back, there probably isn't anything good going on. No matter what it is. In my opinion, it's never okay for a partner to stay out all night with no phone call unless you have an agreement.
Peace,
Jen