Originally Posted by
StarCat 
There is also a difference between "hope" and "expectation" - as long as it's the first and not the second, I'm fine.
This is key for me and one more piece. If hope springs from the fact that my life/identity/safety/security/serenity hinges on the outcome - I'm in trouble.
I aim to never again put myself in that position. Hope in that case is just a desperate wish and reluctance to steer my own ship.
I have hope that my now xah will find recovery. I don't have 'expectations' surrounding his recovery. I can see him and his recovery (and back steps) with a gentleness that is more my true self then the harsh edges and thorny corners of the person I had become. I see reality and call it as it is. I don't see that as skepticism really but an absence of the desperate hope I once had.
Most importantly, I am not desperate. My life/identity/safety/security/serenity are completely separate from his recovery or addiction.