My lawyer was $2600 down for the retainer, and when that was gone, $300/hr.
I thought he wasn't going to get a lawyer, but he did. We mediated, because that was going to be the easiest, cheapest way. It was sort of hard while staying NC, but the lawyers made it easier.
I ended up paying all the legal fees, which was slightly less thank $10K, and he got 4 years of alimony. I got both houses (upside down mortgages), the dogs, and the vast majority of the stuff. He kept his car and student loans. I kept my car and student loans. We have no children, which made it easier.
I think mediation was the best way to do it for us, and I'd look into it if I were you. And you don't have to be in the same room - ours was done by phone because he was *cough* in poor health and too ill to travel.