Originally Posted by courageouscrane

Thanks again Lexie. I guess I am hoping/feeling/believing that my partner is more like your first husband, rather than your second. Though at this moment in time, it seems like he is really wavering between the two.

I guess this is, still and again, where I get stuck...if my presence or absence makes no difference in his life; that is, if I am powerless to control his addiction, why is contacting him, letting him know that I do care, such a bad idea?

I suppose I am being dogmatic about it, but also hoping that my absence will hurry his elevator to the bottom. Though still fearful that my absence will let his elevator crash six feet below

I guess I am realizing that *I* am not yet at my bottom with him or our relationship. He really is the love of my life, and I can't imagine being without him. One interminable day at a time, I guess...

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and experience. You really helped me find some clarity around the situation.