Do you relate to this at all?
OBSESSED WITH A BORDERLINE - A Matter of Attraction and Revulsion
I'm sure most of you do! Why, well because most addicts have personality disorders and their addiction is only the symptom.
There is really no explaining why they destroy themselves and everyone around them!
My therapist and myself cannot diagnose my ex, but I will say this, he has almost every characteristic of borderline and NPD.
Spoke to him for the last time ever 2 weeks ago. He wanted to try to be friends. I told him I can't be friends unless we talk about what happened.
He said ok, then said no, then ok, then no! He was trying to play with my head.
He cheated on me 7 months ago and I left. He showed ZERO remorse.
I was baffled for MONTHS at his behaviour towards me!
He stopped drinking over 2 yrs ago and has been in step group for months, I thought for sure he was getting better. Then I spoke to him and realized he's sicker than before his step group!
When I finally called him up 2 weeks ago to put an end to this charade, and tell him we either talk about what happened or I'm not interested in being friends, He asked me "Why don't you trust me"
HUH?????????? I replied "Because you cheated on me"
He replied "I never cheated on you, you cheated on me and you're a liar"
Then the talk got really heated and MENTAL (I reacted just like he wanted)and out of the blue the verbal abuse started and he said "You know what, you're a real whack job"
Then he said "This is why I left you, because you are crazy"
I said "I left you"
He said "No I left you"
Then went on to say I stalked him, which is truly twisted!
He's a major projector and everything and I mean EVERYTHING he's ever accused me of, he did or is doing!
It's at that point I knew this guy was truly sick, twisted and out of his mind!
He cheated on me with a 250 lbs married pig who I promise you, looks like Rodney Dangerfield!
My therapist said "They don't care how their souces look, as long as they get attention and feel loved. They just need a constant source"
This explains why he's had sex with the most hidious people ever!
But years of abuse from this coward finally came together and I realized he's suffering serious personality disorder.
After this call my therapist said "Are you finally convince about what I've been telling you for 5 months"
I was finally able to let go completely and I will never look back!
I guess I just needed to hear it for myself!
I wish all of you the same realization and strength to let go of these truly sick souls and focus on finding health and happiness!
Any way you slice and dice, the addiction is a self medication to something WAY deeper!