Originally Posted by Buffalo66

No, it's not "normal".

My RAH was acting just this same way, staying away, making up cockamamie reasons for why, neglecting the son he 'worked so hard to get sober for'... Neglecting me, seeing to his own immature instant needs and not helping me w parenting actions, worries or decisions.
He even complained abt the house, said he wanted to leave. Then he thought getting cable and Internet back would solve everything.
Not.
I eventually forced his hand in leaving.
He treated us like s common bed and breakfast.
Now he lives in a tiny institution style college campus apartment.
Good for him.
He calls to "check in", does what he wants, and I don't count on him or worry about him.
He is sober but not recovering.
He is living like the teenager he really is.
All I miss is the sex, and that became something that I had become too resentful at his absence to enjoy.
I don't have a knot in my stomach anymore.
I don't sit at home going over the speech I will recite when he decides we are good enough to come home to.

I just let him be.
Grant me the SERENITY to accept what I cannot change.
And the strength to do what I can

I have a measure more serenity now.