Hi Shellcrusher--
I feel for you. I file papers on my AW in late January. We have been living apart for 7 weeks. I don't have any kids.
I read a good book, "Codependent No More" and I have been going to Al Anon and also seeing a shrink. This is a good time to work on yourself, especially if you can have some time on your own. I am getting hopeful of a new, independent life -- my own life (not just focussed on her, her drama, her happiness), maybe for the first time. Living with an alcoholic has changed me into a different person, as the fog starts lifting I am gaining some hope.
The emotions are all over the map. I heard them simplified like this: mad, sad, glad, and scared. As I feel them, I let them happen, I sit with them, and they usually pass. I never even had time to think about how I was feeling before.
I am mad that she cheated on my after everything I did for her. I am mad that she is selfish, rude, and inconsiderate. I am sad that I am alone and my 16 year marriage turned out to be a failure. I am glad that I can do whatever I want now, and that I am learning who I am and how to be myself again. And I am scared that I am going to lose my butt in the divorce (I own a business and the thought of giving her 50% is just ridiculous.) Which brings me back to mad.
Good luck and hang in there. Blessings!