Wow, thank you both so much for posting!! You are right....I still have an addict brain. When these really became a problem for me is after I had a csection with my last daughter and got put on perks....again. The biggest thing that sticks out is something that came from my own mothers mouth. She sat me down one day and said to me, "Dana, I just want to tell you how proud of you I am. Since you had this latest baby, you have been so on top of things, and super organized. You have somehow been able to keep your house SPOTLESS and keep everything in order for that baby. You are such a wonderful mother, keep it up." And then, a few weeks later, I returned to work. I was diagnosed with a bladder disease in the mean time that causes chronic pain, so my doc gave me a script for those little green devils - 15mg oxys. Back to me returning to work - I got a very prominent promotion within the first week of being back. My boss said something along the lines of how well I have been doing, and so organized with everything, and that I def. have earned my way up the ladder very quickly. What neither of them knew was that I was that organized on top of things mother because of the oxys. And that is how this began. I just cannot fathom as to WHY I am in out patient treatment and still having such a hard time getting off of these. I truly want this to be over.