Belated welcome Jarhead! Congratulations on 30 day's, that's about the time, the emotional roller coaster, the "I hate myself" mode kicked in. Keep working your program, if you have a sponsor, stay close, and keep telling yourself your doing the right thing. I felt the same as you about the relationship thing, but though I was the huge factor, I wasn't the only one! *hugs and hang in there* I promise, it will get better, if your truly ready.