Alone - I totally get what you're talking about...you want to either be totally into it or totally out of it...not pretending you're all the way in it when you're thinking you might be headed out the door. If you feel like you have to tell him what you've been learning and thinking, then you probably won't feel ok about it all unless you do. But the thing is, make sure you're doing it FOR YOU and not as another way to try and control him. I am saying this not as a judgment of what your motivation may or may not be, but as someone who has done this kind of thing for the wrong reason only to undermine my new stance before it even began. I don't know if that makes sense, but I hope it does. Also be prepared for him to act like he doesn't know what in the heck you are talking about or act like you're a basket case or promise the moon and not follow through. I have received all of these responses at different times. So don't let it affect your resolve to handle things differently. If you tell him, it's for YOU...not to receive a particular reaction from him, because there's no predicting that nonsense! Good luck...you are on my heart, and I'm rooting for you!!!