Thanks everyone for the hugs, well wishes and advice.
Here's the update. I'm working on my plan. My lists are coming together and I have a big set of questions for the lawyer tomorrow.
I listened to the recordings the other day. They're pretty gnarly. If I were a judge, it would be quite clear what's going on.
I don't normally do this but yesterday I found another bottle stashed in the trash that wasn't there before I left work. It could be a bottle from that day which means she's now drinking at work, right before I get home or perhaps when I was gone over the weekend. She confirmed that it happened after I left. I wish I had my camera on me...God. Do I need to go undercover and wiretap my manpelt for these discussions?
Anyway, there's a new feeling I'm having. I'm actually happy when she screws up. It's making my decision that much easier to make/live with. Kinda sad too because she simply doesn't get it. I'm not telling her that I've lawyered up but jeez. when I say I've had it, I mean it and she's not getting it. Have I been quacking for too long that she's used to it and really doesn't care? Probably. I have a feeling though that I will keep working on my little plan every day but it will take a while. I knew this would happen but since I made the appointment to see a lawyer, every day I feel more comfortable and ready to just file the divorce. I mean, right now I'm doing it so I have knowledge and know what to do based on legal advise. Doesn't mean I'll file but my AW is simply making it soooo easy. I'll be journaling everyday now to review the previous events.
So now, once the lad is in bed, I'm in my man cave which is the entire partially finished basement. All my stuff is down there anyway. She lives in the rest of the house. I'm starting to sleep better. My son is safe. I'm taking action. If **** hits the fan, she's going to get one hell of a bomb dropped on her. I realize the real pain will begin if I do that but at least I'd be on my road to further recovery versus continually settling for less than normal.