I'll go beyond tough love and say he has some early signs of emotional abusive tendencies.
He is being pretty cruel.
That is as big of a red flag as they come.
You know him best but if he didn't disclose his history, would you tolerate his behavior?
You are right, you don't deserve this at all. Maybe step back and give yourself time to see it without all the feelings attached. You may see it as I did reading it.