Hi, I'm also new. I have been perusing the forums for the last day or two, and man, there are a TON stories of stories (like yours) I identify with here. I'm a woman, also a wine drinker (used to actually enjoy good wine, but in the past couple of years it's been all $3-10/btl WHITE: doesn't stain if you spill it!) and a purse/closet wine hider. I was also in a terrible relationship for several years, several years ago, and I never thought it would end... but it did. Of course I'm still dealing with depression and alcohol issues (personally I have quit maybe 5-6 times in the past seven years, the longest time being about a year and then several three to six month breaks since). I have been drinking between a bottle and a (1.5 L) magnum of wine a day for a couple of months again and it's time for me to get it under control. I called the depression center in the area and made an appointment, and to my surprise the counselor suggested I enroll in an outpatient substance abuse program and also go to AA. STRONGLY suggested. I have been nervous to go to a meeting let alone participate fully... but when I think about how my brain says having "only" a full regular bottle of wine in a night is "pretty good..." that's not healthy.
I'm sitting here at work and all I'm thinking about is buying some wine on the way home... I should probably go to my first AA meeting instead but I'm nervous. I will decide about the AA meeting, but I'll not drink today. I do have an appointment with the counselor tomorrow.
Anyway, I've rambled on about me, but I really wnted to thank you for your post, let you know that there's at least one person out there who has had similar experiences, and introduce myself. Soooo... "hi."
