Trying to analyze the reasons I drank reminds me of the fellow who ran through the jungle trying to find the mosquito whose bite gave him malaria. Who cares?? You have malaria! Treat it!
I could analyze my drinking to death here. Focusing on why I drank and how I manipulated doctors and all my other "issues" are living in the problem. I know the problem. I'm an alcoholic. I need to live in the solution. What am I doing about it?