Hopefully the morning will bring you a brighter day. I was beating myself up pretty good the first week and I was encouraged not to do that. I am doing well now with just a frequent slap, just to remind myself of how stupid it is to even consider going back to drinking.
Try to get some sleep tonight, take those deadlines one at a time. You sound overwhelmed. Whenever that happens, it is impossible to get all the things you need to do finished. That is why you do them one at a time. Eventually, you will get all things completed in better time than being frustrated and trying to do twenty things at once. Let me know how you're doing tomorrow. BTW, no time to give up on life yet, you haven't started. It's all just around the corner.