First off, I want to say this is my first post, and I have enjoyed reading and learning from each of you for the past month as I have been lurking for awhile.
I would like to share my "take" on the idea of putting yourself first. In order to function and properly care about your family, friends, etc. it's important to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally. I don't think that the idea of putting yourself first means in any way that you have to set everything to YOUR standards, or draw a line that YOUR way is the only way. It's about making sure you are healthy in those aspects of your life, so that you can cope with the ever changing dynamics we face every day. Think about it. You try to eat well, exercise, take vitamins, to protect your physical health, is that being selfish? I don't think so at all. Same as seeking counseling or setting a boundary of tolerance of the behavior of other people (and I mean knowing your breaking point, not trying to control the behavior of another person). If you are not healthy, there is no way you can be of help and care to others. By putting yourself first, it's actually a selfless act, not a selfish one. Only when it becomes a "me me me" issue and you don't care about others do you become selfish.