It's hard.
There are times I like hanging w/ my RAH but I also have found that the more time I spend w/ him the more he tends to slip in some manipulating or disrespectful behavior.
2 wks ago..he would make a point to focus on US...(he was manuevering to stay), would not take phone calls when we were hanging out, wouldn't be playing his stupid games on his phone etc...
Now...he's take calls, make calls, play his games. Ignore every word I say because he's too busy texting his AA buddies.
I'm now very aware that alcohol is a problem (he is in recovery) but...the bigger problem is that I thought it was THE problem and it's not. The fact is that he's a selfish a$$%^%$ is.
Now I have to decide...do I want that ? do I want to be married to that?
I just don't think I do. Things are becoming clearer to me on a daily basis and although I don't like what I"m seeing I understand it better now. I'm just not sure if I'm willing to make the sacrifice to lose who I am becoming and remain married to him...I just don't think it's what's best for me or a good example for my kids.
Pros and Cons...the list really makes everything crystal clear.