Hey. I realize I'm in the wrong forum here. I just really wanted to hear about any Alateen experiences.
I do want to clarify. "The big old secret", I only asked my daughter to keep away from her new school. She has a very large support system here with friends and family and cousins. She knows she has a lot of people who support her and she has a lot of people to talk to.
And yes, while I do see your point that secrets are very bad. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to ask her to keep it away from the school yard. I've never told her to keep it within the confines of the home. That's not what I meant by family business. I agree with you, that it is important that she not feel isolated with the secret. That's why I came here. But if you're telling me that she should be able to tell everybody anything that she wants, I wholeheartedly disagree. I know this is a sensative topic, but discretion is not a horrible lesson for kids to learn. If her father had cancer, If I had had a miscarriage or if we were declaring bankruptcy, I would feel the same way. I'm very open with my daughter and very much concerned for her well being. I have always encouraged her to talk to people, not just me.
Our whole family is struggling right now with something that I did. I didn't abuse her or hit her. But I said horrible things to her that I have never said in my whole life. That is my bottom and I am sick about it. But up until this particular day my house has, although not been perfect, far from an asylum.
I should know better than to be defensive here. I do appreciate your comments and I am paying attention to them. Today, I am doing the best I can.