I agree. I keep thinking that I promised "in sickness and in health" .And I do believe my husband is sick-emotionally. spiritually and soon enough physically because of the alcohol abuse. I remember my counselor saying that it was as if my husband had a terminal illness for which I had no cure. I remember thinking, "What kind of person leaves someone when they are dying?" But the thing is that not only is there disease terminal, it is also infectious. And we will be of no good to anyone else or to ourselves if we keep exposing ourselves to it. I cannot help my husband. More importantly he does not want my help or anyone else's at this time. I love him dearly but had to detach in order to save myself.