I just re-read my post... I think "Accepting the things I cannot change" is super super hard for me right now. I love my alcoholic, he's not the horror story of an alcoholic that I read about here, but that doesn't mean he won't be one some day, and that's why I'm here... I have told him this. He is listening, and trying to the best of his ability. That's what makes it harder... is that his willingness to try for me is 100%. The kicker... his willingness is "for me," I wish beyond anything he would do it for him. He's a wonderful person. Ugh.
Edit: One thing that I have realized though, I dunno if it was CynicalOne or who that made me question... is that it's NOT MY RIGHT nor my responsibility to change him (toxic), or ask him to change (toxic), or in the real case, subconsciously try to convince him (toxic) that he needs changing (toxic), or helping (toxic), or fixing (toxic). He is worthy of love (toxic) God, I apologized to him for doing this, for trying to "help" him, for making him feel like a child. He didn't ask me for help. He isn't helpless! He is capable...... but he has to dig deep to know that. Ugh x2!! :P