I came very close to death the last time I got drunk and spent a week in the hospital, on my 6th day in the hospital I accepted that I could never drink again and didn't obsess about it at all; however, twice in the last 3.5 years I've obsessed about it for maybe a 24 hour period thinking I could handle "just 1 or 2" but fortunetly I haven't given in to those obsession. I imagine there will always be certain times that I think about drinking but hopefully the work I've done on myself will give me the tools to fight the urge.