without noticing until it's apparently full-blown. I'm not sleeping nights, up every hour, sometimes less.
Cross-ABF is thankful he doesn't yearn for a drnik, but still had relapse, now seriously struggling, with crack again. I just feel different. Of course, I don't understand his struggle, so that isn't helping either one of us! His Secret Life is killing him, and everyone who loves him has an array of feelings, that cycle rapidly. From concern, to angry, disappointed, lack of trust... on and on.
But yesterday, he finally got ahold of me. My caller ID gave me the number... and the ammunition was right there, immediately. Says he's trying to clear his head, 500 miles away in a hotel... with no notice, not even a goodbye... and that hurt turned to anger that made my hear race, and my head spin! I woke up twice between 3 and 4 a.m., yelling out loud, in my sleep... AT HIM.
This just makes no sense. Can anyone help me? He is so disappointed with himself, he left town to meet up with an old friend... get away from his madness of a life he keeps getting himself into here. I just don't see how a week or two out of town will fix anything....
