The other day I did what I gather is called a shared third step with my sponsor and about 6 other AA members. It was actually nothing like what I had expected. The 6 members went around the circle and told me about their experience with step 3 and what it meant to have it in their lives. I was told that taking step 3 is the start of a great journey and so on. It was really quite powerful and I felt much more emotion than I had expected to feel. As far as the first two steps are concerned I think they involved acceptance. Step three is where some action is involved. I knew I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable. That was pretty obvious. I just had to look at my life. I knew and accepted that idea. So I went to an AA meeting. I kept going because I saw and heard people in whom I could see that some great change had taken place. Some force was at work here. The people seemed happy, successful, and confident in themselves. Sure they had problems still but I sensed an underlying faith, something keeping them afloat, peaceful despite their problems. They were people that could deal with life. At some point in time, I cannot say what time or what day, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I saw something greater at work in the lives of the people I saw at the meetings. I didn't know what it was. It didn't matter that I didn't completely understand it. But I did want it. I had fully worked step one in admitting I was powerless. I was thoroughly beaten down. I had had enough. I was WILLING to do whatever I had to do to live. "..If you want what we have and are WILLING to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." I was willing and I was ready. I believed that there was something greater than myself that could restore me to sanity. So this brought me to step 3. I could see that my life, most of my life even, up to the present (and present included really) was completely self absorbed. The book uses the phrase "self-will" run riot. I could see that I was trying to manipulate, control, change people and things and situations to be just the way I wanted them to be. When this didn't work out, as historically it hasn't, I got frustrated. I reacted badly. Behaved like a child. Hurt people. Did bad things. My sponsor told me that the word "WILL" in the 3rd step could be thought of as meaning 'my thoughts and motivations,' and the word "LIFE" as meaning 'my actions.' He said to think of it as saying "Made a decision to turn my thoughts/motivations and my actions over to the care of God as I understand him." It's just that. A decision. To me it means that I'm not always going to have pure motivations. I'm not going to have pure thoughts. My motivations are going to be driven by a myriad of emotions. And I'm not always going to do the right thing. But I can make a choice to let the God of my understanding care for my thoughts, motivations and actions. I can make a choice to let my thoughts and actions be guided by my higher power and pray for the power to act accordingly. I think, and it has been said to me, that in step 3 we make the decision. The rest of the steps are HOW we turn our thoughts, motivations, and actions over to the care of our Higher Power. I think that's why step 3 needs to be followed immediately with more action. That's step four where we start to identify, work on, and clear away the things that are limiting our 'conscious contact' with our higher power and clear away the 'wreckage of the past.' I didn't realize the 3rd step is something I will practice in my life everyday. I think it comes down to another cliche- doing the next right thing. Acting as a agent of my higher power. Acting in a way that is fitting to represent my higher power. I made the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him, now the rest of the steps are how I turn it over and "practice these principles in all of our affairs." I don't think it's something I need to understand 100% right now. I don't know if it's something I can understand 100%. If that were the case I don't think there'd be people still going to AA meetings with 30 years sobriety. It's a work in progress. That's what I like about the AA program. There are expectations of me. Things that should be done in order for other things to work. But there is also the acknowledgment of the human condition. Not just the alcoholic condition. We may not know God's will for us all the time and in every situation and we'll still do the wrong things. But perfect understanding, perfect action, being perfect isn't expected. That's why there are certain things in the steps we need to do everyday. It seems to me step three is the beginning of a completely new way of life. I have no idea if that helps or makes any sense whatsoever, but that's my understanding of it so far.. that's all.