Thanks for this Ann!
Many of you know I ran (not walked) through the doors of Al Anon about 10 years ago. I worked my way through the steps with a sponsor, attended 3 or 4 , sometimes 5 meetings a week for many years. One of those meetings was a Sunday morning open AA speaker meeting...to me at that time it was almost like going to church. The hope I found at those meetings was an inspirational start to my week. Maybe this was a way of running away from what was at home...who knows...but it what I had to do.
I was not an easy newcomer. I was full of "but he did this" and "what if he does this". My mind was always spinning and I knew I had the solutions for all this pain....but the people would not cooperate! I cried and fought my way through the steps taking years to "get" it. Very slowly, one thing at a time, I began to change my actions and responses. I began to open up to a relationship with God and I began to trust Him. I began to hear something I was intended to hear at EVERY meeting. I was "in grace" for the first time in my life.
I had aquired the strength to tell the Beav he had to move out and I reconnected with Ward.
For a period my life was happy and calm....we moved about 45 minutes away from my meetings so I attended meetings in our new town and any oldtimer can tell you that that can be the kiss of death. It is hard to connect with a new group and I confess that I let it go for a time.I just sat back and revelled in my "wisdom". LOL
But God had another plan for me...the Beav's disease had been escalating....we had a new GS and "daughter-in-law" and I was led here to all of you.
Some of the most horrible things in my life have happen this year with the heroin death of my "daughter-in-law" and my son bouncing around his bottom, grabbing a shovel and going ever deeper. The pain of having a GS lose his mother (does anyone know how to spell control???).
Today I come here daily and I attend one meeting a week...I found a new sponsor and reconnected with my old one and yes I am working the steps yet again with the help of a very kind and gentle lady. This is my third time at step work...I have never gotten that pesky diploma!
I cannot say enough about the fellowship of AA....to say it saved my life just does not express it...but that is what it did. In spite of all my kicking and screaming I kept going back and I was transformed! They told me it worked and I had no other choice but to believe them because my best efforts were NOT working.
If I may, I would like to suggest to all of you who are not attending meetings, get some AA conference approved literature to add to your libraries. The Big Book, One Day at a Time in Al Anon, The Courage to Change (one day at a time 2). There you will not only find the 12 steps explained in depth, but the 12 traditions and slogans. Your libraries have it, bookstores, and here we sell it.
I love this thread Ann...thanks!
JT