Hi Wanttobehealthy and welcome to SR!
I hope you'll read the responses you've already received
very carefully
for they are saying quite a lot.
I hope you'll continue with Alanon near you
because face to face support is so vital
when a relationship is crumbling.
Notice I didn't say 'faltering'.
I think you clearly explained the situation
and there's plenty of others here
that know first hand
what you're feeling,
and possibly even have ideas
that can lead you to finding your own solution.
I hope you'll keep posting -
whenever the word 'assault' comes up
it concerns me and even though we've just met
I'll worry for your safety
and that of your children.
How old are your kids?
Mavbe you said, but I don't remember?