Beliefssss
I could not grasp beliefs as a cause of abuse....made no sense........then I began to think back and remembered a story my AH told me half a dozen times:
AH: "Women stay with men who treat them like sh*t. I proved it to my friend T. My girl at the time was sitting in the next room reading. I got up and screamed at her, "Get off your fat a*s and get me something to eat." My girl got up and scurried about getting me something to eat. I turned to T and told him "See, I told ya." I proved my point right then."
This last week I said to AH, "you remember that story you told me about women stay with men who treat the badly? Has it occurred to you that maybe your believing that is the reason we have problems in our marriage?"
He came unglued. "I never treated you badly. You are my wife. You are on a pedestal. Other women are different."
I responded "It doesn't matter who the woman is, she deserves to be treated with respect."
He couldn't speak. When he did stupid sh*t came out.. More "beliefs" like Good guys lose and never get ahead.
I said you say you are not a loser and always get ahead....Does that mean you are not a good guy............
Needless to say we went around a while............