Sorry I didn't see this before, but wanted to send support and love your way. You'll be on my mind tomorrow as you have your court date. Generally, it doesn't turn out as badly as we imagine it will. I'm hoping very hard that'll be true in your case.
Whatever happens, drinking only makes us weaker and more vulnerable. I used to seek strength by drinking, and all it did was mask my feelings. It is not our helper or our friend, the way we've convinced ourselves it is. You do not need it in your life.
We're all with you - you've been doing great, and I know you'll continue on the right path. Sending love out there to Cali.