Thanks for the emotional and practical advice.
No kids.
Finances are separate.
I already live in a new state and have a home on my own. The little-girl feeling of lonliness is based on the emotional security of being attached, not a physical presence. It's wild how, even though we are separated, I still derive security from having him be technically married to me. That's my own issue to work through.
The crazy thing is when I am like this I am the opposite of self-caring. I can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour (anxiety?), although I feel exhausted. It is more disassociation, I think to ignore my exhaustion and stay up, bleary eyed. I KNOW I need to go to bed, but I addictively surf the internet (or read posts here!).
I know I need to give long walks to my dog, but the walks get shorter.
I know I need to keep plugging away and collecting my tax stuff, but it gets put off.
I have to fight MYSELF to take care of myself! That is so frustrating!
I think it is all related to not being present. Instead, I am avoiding the world and responsibilities and hiding (emotionally) from LIFE.
I think meditation might be good...if I could start doing it again regularly!
fp