I was going to tell you to read my earlier post, if you want to compare ANGER..Wow!
I was over the edge with anger. It was killing me inside. I really didnt know a person could have so much anger inside of them and have their heart to continue to beat.
"I SURVIVED" and my RAH didnt even see what I was going thru. He went into a 30 day rehab, which $10 grand came out our pocketbook. I look back at my past months, and I wish I would have never kept that anger in me for as long as I did. It got me no where.
I know when your new to this site and Alanon, you just dont understand what some of these people mean with their words like, Detach, Let Go, Boundarys..It is overwhelming. Its like trying to learn Chinese, but if you read alot and go to classes, it will soon sink in your head of what their words mean. The words soon become a survival tool, that you must exercise in your brain every minute of the day...I always tell myself "Work It Baby"
Im far from being healed and I still have anger that arises, but atleast now Im aware of why I have the anger and I stop and think of a plan, of what Im going to do with it..
I always try to ask myself, Is that good for me???
At rehab, we had 2 solid days of family intervention/session. It was very intense and alot of emotions came out. Some of the wives shared their sadness, ME, well I was like a dragon with fire spewing from my mouth. Everyone handles it differently.
BUT I WILL TELL YOU: Like many told me, Rehab is not the MAGIC PILL. I thought MINE would be different...One week out of rehab and mine was drunk...If you read back on my post, its been a ride from hell, before and after....Major Anger!!!
I will say like the others, GET TO ALANON & STAY ON THIS FORUM..It does HELP!!
It might take a couple of times or a couple of days, but you will hear or read one thing, and your light will come on...
******BUT....Back to your earlier post..REGARDING: dual diagnosis of mental illness
That is an entire different story!!!!
I know some of the men that were in rehab with my AH were diagnosised with Post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar, depression, etc. That takes professional help and that is not me nor you.
After listening to their stories, I could not even relate. My only advise towards that is, let the professionals do their job and your HP. Your not a doctor, this is where they tell you in Alanon, YOU CANT FIX IT!!!
As good wives, we always try...lol...Been there done that.
I know we get angry too, because we cant fix it!!
I know that I got angry because I just wanted a normal life, a normal marriage, a normal family.
I know now that I hated to say the words..Yes, my husand is an alcoholic..
I know now that I hated to say Good Bye, to the person who once loved me and not
a bottle.
I know now, that I have to Let Go & Let God Fix Me
I hope you get into Alanon and follow this forum. Go treat yourself to some good books to read too...I know late at night when I cant sleep, I will study the 12 steps that are listed on this site, over an over and over, until my thick head soaks it in...HOPE YOU DO THE SAME!!
If someone writes a post back or you read one that catches your attention, I know your mind is in a fog, so come back and read it again and again, until it sinks in. You might even have to come back 3 days later and re-read it...The light will come on...
If you dont understand what FIX ME means or DETACH WITH LOVE...
Ask someone in a ALANON class or ask on here. There are alot of wise people on here who have been around the block and have some pretty wise information..LISTEN, ASK...
Dont be afraid...We are all in the same boat together!!!
I have learned, dont talk to your friends or family too much on WHAT to do's..
Because the normal people dont have a clue on what alcoholism is and how in depth
the problem really is...It's not just about having too many beers, wish it was that simple...
GOOD LUCK TO YA!!!