You're part way back already. Keep doing just what you're doing, if that means reaching out for help, from SR, from a meeting as soon as possible, from the best medical and counseling advice you can get. Many, many others have been just where you are right now and they've made it back. If you do this right, you will find that from all this wreckage hope will arise. It will happen. Believe! And it will happen! Every good wish.
W.