My dear friend, I was in the EXACT same spot you are in a mere 7 days ago....I have had a horrible couple months......it IS dark and it IS awful. I don't know what hit my switch, maybe the same thing that brought you here today.......I made up my mind that I wanted my life back....no matter what it took. So I rode it out on the couch for a few days and here I am.
If I can do it anyone can cause I was in a very bad way.....drinking all day.....fear of everything........dreading everything, it was horrible.
I am here to tell you that there is hope, my friend. I promise you that. I am only 7 days sober but my whole life has changed in that short amount of time, and it can for you too. First thing is to get your head on straight. Then deal with all those things you THINK are a nightmare.........they will be much less with a little time away from that poison, life-sucking stuff. One thing at a time, keep it simple, I have witnessed your strength in the past.......I am always here for you..........PM if you need me. Hugs to you. Join me in a new life.