Thanks so much for welcoming me back.
I'm grateful to know someone understands where I am right now -- and I truly appreciate the support. It was difficult for me to admit the state of mind I'm in currently. It's dark and awful.
I hate what I've done to myself with alcohol. Drinking and self-destruction I could do just fine by myself -- but picking myself up by the bootstraps -- not so much.
I will take the next step even though I am terrified. And quite ashamed of myself.
Thanks everyone for encouraging me.