Hi Moose!
I'm really glad that Baby Momma seems to be such a good mom and is open to having you in your grandson's life. Smart girl!
I know what helps me a lot is if friends ask me questions to help me look at different sides of the coin so I hope it is okay to do this...
What are the pros and cons of telling your son that Baby Mamma is coming? Are you willing to live with the consequences of either one? I know you feel like you won't hear the end of it but when he finds out (which is ultimately likely) then will you still never hear the end of it plus hear about the not telling him part?
I would definitely want to be seeing my grandbaby and feel that almost anything justifies that visit...that child needs you! At least your son is in a dfferent state right now. I'm learning alot about verbal abuse...mainly that I don't have to listent to anything that I don't want to hear. I sometimes forget that I do not have to hear someone out and can hang up the phone, not answer the phone, leave, etc.
What do you need to do to fully enjoy your visit with your grandbaby? I think that that is the main question!