Bigger whine (Suki et al small whines are great too!):
Tonight I went for dinner and movie with my friend who has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. For those that don't know: this is one of the worst cancers. Even though his was caught very early - he could well have many good years - the prognosis is usually very grim.
He is having a very hard time with this, very emotionally fragile. No wonder.
I've even googled "what do you say when..." type information and I'm pretty spot-on so far; I speak to him from my heart and acknowledge that really I have no clue what it's like to get a diagnosis like this. Along with a friend of his from work, I'm getting all mommy-ish and cooking him meals, but beyond that and listening I am not sure what else to do. I've suggested talking to his onc-doc about anti depressants (he did and just started) and joining f2f or online forums for cancer patients (I don't think he has) but I feel both concerned and like a horrible person because I am the closest friend he has and I am worried that I'm the only person he is really leaning on. His only other friends are work-only friends, and friends of mine that he's gotten to know. He is a very intelligent, but shy and socially awkward person. He says he can't relate to strangers (I point out that six years ago I was a stranger, everyone is until you get to know them) and he is not a joiner-type person.
In other words, I worry that he invests a lot more in me than the other way around; I do not feel equipped to be his only close friend in this journey, and feeling that way makes me feel crappy and selfish. But I really like him (we are platonic, not romantic, friends) and think the best thing for him is to develop a wider network of support. Especially for down the road - and it may be a few years - when he's going to need possibly more help and support than just someone listening to him and allowing him to cry.
On a lighter note...MsCooter, I try never to eat anything that doesn't have an expiry date.
