Well, I know staying on my meds is important (I'm on Wellbutrin and Abilify, and they help a lot). I have relapsed twice after kicking my meds, thinking I don't need them. However, I have also relapsed while taking my meds, with the same "Who cares?" attitude.
I know for me, to pray daily, is important. I still can't help but run on self-will though, which has failed me time and time again. I try turning my will and my life over and all that that you hear in NA/AA (which I do attend, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc) but I never seem to be close enough to "God's will" throughout my day, and just do what I feel like doing. (I will post about this today in one of the 12-step forums. Don't want to go too in-depth with program stuff in the mental health forum).
Mentally and emotionally, I tend to be all over the place (which is normal in early recovery, I guess) but after a while, things even out, I feel better, then I fall off that pink cloud and land in a pile of sh*t. Not sure how to prevent that. It seems like I do a complete 180 overnight, and go from enthusiasm about life and recovery, to just not caring about any of that, engaging in risky behavior, etc.
I don't have a therapist. My old one took on some new patients and decided he needed to "lighten his load" and got rid of some patients he'd been seeing for a while. Tried going to a new therapist, but she told me after our first meeting that she doesn't see patients with a history of substance abuse. Whatever. I have not found a new one after that. It is hard for me to find a therapist I can work with. I have trust issues, and also have an issue with people who put words in my mouth, which a lot of therapists tend to do.
Anyway, I am working with my sponsor to help solve my problem. She is not a therapist, but she has "been there" and can relate to a lot of what I am going through. I am trying to be in touch with her and at least one other addict each day, in addition to those I talk to at meetings. Keeping myself accountable and all that, so at least people will know when I start to slip.