Mimic,
I felt the same way for a long time. Fuzzy. Cloudy. Not sure what I thought. I knew I was upset but I didn't know why or what to do. I started employing some of the concepts you'll read about in here and over time, my mind is becoming very clear. I needed to be clear because for me, the outcome could be divorce and I have a toddler with my AW.
One thing I learned is that you can't simply draw a line in the sand and say, don't cross it. For me, it wasn't that immediate but every day I work on something that I believe will help me detach with love and concentrate on myself. I can't directly measure if my changes have had an impact on my AW but I can say that since I really started applying myself, we seem to be doing better as a couple. She's a binge drinker so the calm times are very seductive and dangerous. That's why I can't measure the impact yet. Then again, perhaps I don't really care as much about how it impacts her but more about how much more peace I'm finding in my life.