1st post, Back to No Contact
Hey everyone
I am a regular over at Friends and family of Alcoholic -really really love it. I am also ACOA, and it has controlled my life for so long, but I feel I'm bursting out of that mold, finally.
This is my first post here.
After, I dunno, a few months (?) of being sober but not treating his alcoholism, my AH is back to drinking and blaming me. It was nice while it lasted.
I actually drove him to the bar yesterday afternoon, during that short trip he said all the things he used to say-we can't be together because I'm crazy, I don't know how to run a household with two boys, two little dogs and a big orange cat, I'm unreliable, etc.
Those hooks used to tear me up. I would obsess about them, argue with him, hate him, feel utterly abandoned. He perfectly fit into my abandonment issues created by my alcoholic parents, like a lock and key.
But thanks to the program, and some help from my all loving HP, I have learned how to let go and turn away and get back to my life instead of obsess and buy into the drama.
I"m being careful though. I know I am totally susceptible to shifting into an all out abandonment freak out session, if I don't stay focused on myself and my life I"m working to make as fantastic as possible.