thanks everyone. i think because im not drinking that means i am doing really good. I will check out a meeting and go from there. im not going to call my sister and say "hey you were right and now im in a program" after the way she spoke to me i dont feel that i owe her any explination or update. we see each other at holidays. its not like she is going to notice any improved day to day behavior. basically the relationship is ruined and over.