Hey Manz
I think we've all wrestled with those thoughts, doubts and fears in the early hours of morning (usually 3 am for me for some reason)
I drank for 20 years - it took some time for me to work out who I was, and it took even longer for me to be comfortable with who I was, but it happened.
I think it helped that I was determined to lay a few old ghosts and be the best person I could be too - with the help of a counsellor and the folks here, I really faced up to some pretty long standing stuff.
If you're trying your best to be your best, I can't see how you wouldn't like the end result Manz
D