I'm working on raising 'my' expectations to where they once were. Little by little throughout the years, I've lowered the bar as far as expectations from from my xah as to what was acceptable.
I'm doing this too. Funny what we accept and call good when we are entangled with addicts. I'm dating a new guy and I told a friend, "He's a great guy. He calls when he says he's going to call and he shows up when he says he's going to show up." My friend reminded me that doesn't make him a great guy. That should be a minimum requirement for anyone to be a part of my life.
How are your kids Olive? My son is in counseling. He went through a rough spot when he realized his daddy wasn't coming back. He blamed me for sending him a way and not inviting him over. My son wasn't old enough to be a real witness to his fathers horrible behavior so it's really hard for him to understand why he's gone. It's my fault according to him. He told me "I'm angry at you. I'm angry at my dad. I'm angry at everyone in the world. But mostly I'm angry at you Mom."
Hopefully the counselor can help him work through his anger. He's only 5. He has a long road ahead of him.