StarCat

I have thought about this too... I think it falls to "What are you most comfortable with?" We always talk about how detaching with love is to help the alcoholic hit their bottom, but sometimes we forget that it also helps up climb up out of the mess. If one decision might be considered "detaching" but will drag you down with guilt, pick a different decision.
Just because something might be beneficial to the alcoholic, doesn't mean it's not also beneficial to us.


EXAMPLE:

If, when the alcoholic goes to drive, you envision large accidents on major highways and you start blaming yourself for something that didn't even happen yet because it might happen, you probably want to take their keys.

If, when the alcoholic goes to drive, you start to worry that something might happen, you won't blame yourself but you do worry about bystanders (or simply want to make sure the alcoholic experiences the consequences of their decision), call the local police and report that the alcoholic is driving drunk, and give the details of their car and/or route if you know it.

If, when the alcoholic goes to drive, you are simply grateful they're leaving, then let them go.



Yes, it is easier said than done. When I make decisions, I frequently question myself why, because I have learned that my motives tell more than the decision itself. If it's important (to me) and I can't figure it out, I call someone, and talk it through with someone who isn't wrapped up in my life and my problem, and see what an outside view provides.
I still slip up, but at least I'm learning from my mistakes now, instead of blaming myself for them.