My first post
Hi
Just browsing the net and looking for... well.. I dont know what I'm looking for.
A little background... 22 years ago I met and married the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. We had 4 wonderful children. Me with a successful company and my wife a teacher, life was great.
About twelve years ago she began to drink. Firstly just at weekends but gradually this spread to every night of the week. It's never affected her work, but on the days she wasn't working she would drink all waking hours. She would each night drink a phenomenal amount of alcohol.. a bottle of vodka or 3 bottles of 14% wine plus the odd beer. Over the years there have been the typical disappearances for weekend benders with her 'friends'. Always followed by a complete lack of remorse on her part.
Things escalated as the children began to move away to college/uni a couple of years ago. The behaviour became much more violent if confronted. So much so that last year, whilst attempting to stop her smash up our kitchen, I had to have a finger reconnected that she slashed with a broken plate. Again there was no remorse. It was my fault for confronting her.
I am not a violent or aggressive person and find these moods very difficult to deal with. Unfortunately I cannot simply walk away as she will then take her rage out on anything to hand, including doors, furniture etc and I cannot simply stand back and watch all we have worked for be destroyed.
She has promised to stop drinking many times but they usually dont last the week.
After reading other posts here, she has the typical memory problems, none of our friends invite us out any more. The kids constantly asking me to leave her is beginning to turn to resentment on their part. They accuse me of cowardice.
Anyway.. the culmination of all this was Christmas where my wife was semi concious throughout the whole festive period. new year day I told my wife I was leaving her. One hour later she informed me that she had taken 40 paracetamol and wanted to die. I had to call emergency services. The hospital treated me as the cause. Police interviewed me and near enough accused me of giving her the pills. The following morning an alcohol test showed that she was STILL three times the legal limit to drive!.
She signed herself out of hospital and promised me that she would stop drinking. Although I've found it a little difficult trying to avoid places/situations where alcohol would be available, we have had a wonderful 7-8 weeks.
Last week was her birthday.. she went out with friends and got completely wrecked. Since then I have found the usual bottled hidden, and been confronted by an obviously drunken wife who swears on her honour that she hasn't drank.
The children are once again lecturing me with the 'she well never change' and 'we told you so'.
I think (although I'm not sure) that I dont want this trauma any longer. I truly fear what would become of my wife and our wonderful home if I walked away.
Sorry for going on a little.