(((LS2))) - for me, change is scary...even when I know, deep in my heart/gut/mind it's the best thing, I feel terrified. Someone once told me I was too comfortable in my "uncomfortable zone" and she's right.
His actions say that he wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. You, on the other hand, want better for you and the kids.
Sock some money away, in an account he can't get hold of and keep doing it. Check out housing options. Keep telling yourself "I deserve to not have to deal with him and his issues".
Trust is hard to rebuild (I'm an RA plus a recovering codie), but it's the ACTIONS that do more than words. From what I read, he's all talk, no action. I would detach, as much as possible, while still living in the same house...treat him like a roommate.
It's hard, it's scary, but it's SOOO much better when you finally do it, and if you're like me, you'll soon wonder why the heck you waited so long.
He's not going to "hear" you because he's in denial and he doesn't want things to change. As a friend of mine, here, says - you might as well go talk to a pine tree.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy