My problem is I’m terrified of what to do next, do I try to remove her access to more money back here? (Seems against the Al-Anon principles I’ve tried to adopt), do I take away the car, she was bad for drunk driving, but if I take away the car how would she get to meetings if she needed to, she needs money or a car it seems.
That is not your problem, if she wants to go she will find a means to go just like everyone else.
It is a good idea to limit her access to money because it seems it will go to waste. Having access to money hasn't helped so far... has it?
What if you or your kids have a health emergency, or need it for something else, you will be angry there is none because it all went to buy alcohol.
Just what I see from my outsider point of view.
You can't control her
You can't cure her
You didn't cause her problem
Now what about your kids? what plans can you make so you enjoy some time together?
I have the 16 year old begging that she doesn’t come back even to the neighbourhood
This is very sad to read. These are consequences from her drinking though.
I have you all in my thoughts tonight.