Yet I Drink
I am now just recovering from a horrible experience. An expericence that is a culimation of 30 plus years of drinking. I have been through many such situations over the years. I have been with many men while married. I have woken up in places that left me frightened and guilt ridden. I was and am a crappy parent and wife, yet I drink and drink and drink! I was robbed of jewlery when I passed out, yet I drink. A benevolent God of drunks has helped me to escape DUIs,divorce, jail, disease, and death, yet I drink. I have a family that continues to surround me. They are blessed with health and yet still I drink. I was not molested or abused as child, yet still I drink. My mother whom has been the best, a daughter could ask for turns 89 today, yet still I drink. I have a job that allows me to enjoy the exuberance of children and their honest view of the world, yet still I drink. This last experience found me driving many miles across our huge state in a run from myself. I also was very ill with a chest infection that should have been seen by a Dr..but yet still I drink. I drove on drinking when suddenly my body said you need to eat and sleep. It was very cold so I got a motel. I slept for 2 hours and awoke. I felt the need to return from where once I came and began the trek home. The sun came up much later than I guessed. My old truck made it home. For 24 hours my family had no idea where I was. I contacted work to say I would not be in. Yet I drink. I went to the doctor for antibiotics. Yet I drink. slept.. I attemped to detox made it 72 hours slept. Then.... I drink. I vomited, sweated and thought of where I might be able to hang myself. knowing full well that I did not have the courage to do such a thing. yet I drink. Husband and I want to see my councelor, yet I drink. Mind, body and soul said STOP! Yet I Drink. I can only hope that one day I can say yet I drank in the past tense. Work through all the self centered egocentric energy that is my addiction and thus my life.