Thanks Zencat for the article!! It sounds as if maybe I'm not to far off!
"Our working hypothesis is that drug and sexual cues acquire the ability to trigger brain reward circuitry through simple Pavlovian conditioning. In Pavlov's classic experiments[16], a bell reliably signaling the arrival of food reward came to trigger salivation and excited anticipation of the meal. Though salivation to the food was reflexive, salivation and arousal to the bell was “conditional” – newly established by learning. Similarly, arbitrary cues (e.g., the sight of a drug paraphernalia, a drug location, or even an internal cocaine thought) that reliably signal cocaine will come to trigger physiologic arousal, drug anticipation, and activation of the limbic reward circuitry[8]in users of the drug.
Wow..maybe I should become a scientist.
Well my next question would be if I know that I am basically brainwashed with the way I think about alcohol is that enough of a deterent to keep me from picking up the bottle. Basically can self knowledge alone keep you from harming yourself? Basically once you find the "man behind the curtain", will that be enough to protect you from killing yourself with your DOC?