Florence,
Welcome and hugs.
I can also relate--I had just had a baby (my third), was working full time at a job that did not cover the mortgage so I was preparing to walk away from the house, and all the while, my AH was pretty much in absentia drinking and doing coke in Manhattan. Talk about messed up finances!
Then came MY surprise pregnancy (guess what--you CAN still get pregnant if you're breast-feeding).
So, I just want you to know you're not alone, and you're not stupid. If you're like me, one day (sooner than you think) you're going to look at that child and thank God for the blessing--as I do every single day.
Take it slow, trust your gut, take in all the information you get so you can cut through the confusion and the feelings of being overwhelmed. And keep reading here. You can do it! Trust me. You sound like a very focused, proactive, together person.